How I Think About the “Best Years of My Life”: Reflections of a Junior
Written by: Shreemayi Undavalli
Illustration by: Sravya Gullapalli
Despite the ongoing searing Texas heat, summer is officially over, and I hope you all got to experience moments of joy and connection, no matter where you were or what your plans were. As we get back into the schedule of a new semester, I wanted to take a moment to say the following as a reminder for anyone who may need to hear this: You are doing just fine. Take it easy on yourself.
I remember starting freshman year, the immense pressure I felt to take advantage of every single opportunity at a school as large and vibrant as UT Austin. This pressure was coupled with a self- and socially imposed expectation to optimize my college experience, supposedly the “best years of my life.” Comparing myself to my peers and upperclassmen who seemed to be extensively involved and perfectly balancing classes, extracurriculars, and social relationships made me feel, at times, isolated and behind, but I didn’t know what I was behind on. I knew deep down that comparison was unhelpful and deceiving; nevertheless, it was a natural response to my being in a new environment, navigating my place within a novel ecosystem of 400-person lecture halls and a bustling new city. I attended high school in the cozy Piney Woods of East Texas, where the city seems to sleep at 9:30pm every evening and where my class sizes sometimes dipped into the single digits. While the fall of freshman year transition was probably the most challenging, now, as a junior, I realize that every semester requires some level of readjustment; it’s just that now, I have a set of tools and lessons that I can lean on to help me acclimate.
More than situational modifications, I have embraced a shift in perspective. College is a time of constant growth, of new experiences, of meeting new people. It is only inevitable, as inevitable as free food on Speedway during the first two weeks of classes, perhaps even necessary, that my journey is completely unique from that of anyone else’s or that of anyone who has traversed this path before me. In this realization, I’ve found peace; I've found clarity.
But how did I get to this point of understanding? I reflected. I recognized that no matter how much I filled my schedule, involved myself academically or personally, I felt a nagging sense of “not doing enough.” My mistake was in trying to emulate actions that represented a prototype of success or joy, instead of thinking about what those words actually meant for me.
I asked myself some questions that were slightly uncomfortable yet stimulating: What brings me joy? How do I feel fulfilled? I discovered that sometimes, the simplest moments help me feel the greatest sense of fulfillment, like making conversation with the person in the elevator, or taking long walks on campus in the evening and gazing up at the glowing Tower. At the same time, the more tangible wins still feel important, like finally understanding how a cardiac cycle works in physiology, or delivering a presentation that I am proud of. I say all this to make one point: Maybe the ideal college experience that everyone raves about isn’t one of expectations or “supposed to be’s.” Maybe “best” is overrated, and experiencing these moments as they unfold, enjoying and learning from the process intentionally, is what really matters. So, try to take it easy on yourself. Try to look inward and ask yourself the questions you haven’t thought about before. How can you make these years, not the best, but better for you right now? Perhaps you can approach each day with a little more patience and gentleness for yourself and those around you, because we’re all doing our “best” after all. Whatever that looks like, take it easy.
Note:
Of course, all of this is easier said than done, and you certainly are not alone. Please remember that your well-being always comes first, and that support is always available. The CNS Wellness Center operates in Painter 5.40E from 8:30 am - 4:30 pm. You can also visit healthyhorns.utexas.edu to browse the countless wellness-related resources available to UT students.