A Science Major's Guide to Dating
“Dating is temporary; GPA is forever”- Unknown
“I don’t have time to date, I’m out here trying to become a [insert engineer/doctor/research scientist/obscure profession].” In the 1980’s, the average age for first time mothers was between 22 and 23 years.7 Accounting for time to get married, as well as time spent dating, women in the 1980’s found their partner during the latter end of high school, or in college. At the present, it has been observed that the average maternal age has been increasing over time.3 Although women are having children later in life, their decline in fertility consistently stagnates around the age of 32.7 For men, the approximate age for a decline in sperm count is 50.4 What do these statistics imply? Simply, that the biological clock is ticking, and that finding a partner later in life could lead to greater complications in the future. By putting careers first, individuals neglect their primary duty of being a living being and fail to reproduce. In order to avoid cutting off the evolutionary tree at one specific branch, outlined below are scientifically proven tips to assist in finding a potential mate.
1) Shower Rarely
Animals have a chemical means of communication called “pheromones”. Pheromones are water-soluble secretions that act on other members of a species.2 Of the many kind of pheromones, there is a “sex pheromone,” which is widely used by other animals (birds, for example), but it is unclear how potent the human version is. Since these pheromones are water soluble, they are easily washed away when people take showers, thus diminishing their effect. The presence and effectiveness of human sex pheromones have been hotly debated for the past couple years, but just in case they do exist, it is greatly recommended to shower less frequently and let those natural messages find their way to a potential partner.
2) Music is a Must
A study published by the Royal Society of Biological Sciences supported the idea that females tended to select males with more complex musical patterns.1 Apparently, when a partner is capable of producing complex sounds/movements, it’s an underlying sign of intelligence (which others are attracted to). This concept explains a lot of natural behavior, take for example the grackles. The loud screeches heard in the HEB parking lot between the months of March and July are actually music to a female grackle’s auditory canals (the more obnoxious, the better). For a more human example, think of One Direction fans. Male and females alike flock to venues and scream out for the music group because music makes them more attractive. To attract a partner, a male or female should take any opportunity to show off their musical talent by either dancing on a table in a club or serenading a potential partner in the school hallway. If these strategies work for other animals, it should work for humans.
3) Dress Obnoxiously
A study was published where people said that they felt the most attractive when they wore the color red.5 Red, in itself, may not be an attractive color, but it does command attention. For example, stop lights and warning signs all utilize red because the color immediately draws the eye towards them. There are many parallels between primal human behavior and the animal kingdom, and as shown in nature, the males with the most colorful appearances tend to be the most successful. Females that receive the most attention are also extremely successful. The takeaway is that attention is good, and dressing to get attention (using wild colors, mismatched patterns, and over the top accessories) is going to help people find their match faster.
4) Do the Most
The male bowerbird is described as “desperate for attention” and will build elaborate nests complete with a color scheme in order to impress their female counterparts.6 Clearly, impressing the opposite gender plays a huge role in acquiring a mate. By following the example of our fellow animals, it’s been proven that going above and beyond is a surefire way to woo a partner. Don’t believe that? Take for example a man who orders dozens of roses and a full dinner for his girlfriend. What about a girl who buys her boyfriend a new videogame, a new watch, and bakes him a couple of desserts? In all cases, going above and beyond to show affection for another individual seems like an important strategy when it comes to finding a partner. Not only does being “extra” show the depth of an individual’s feelings, but it also shows that they are capable of taking care of others (financially and emotionally).
Finding a partner is no easy feat, but making time for dating is the first step. When looking for a partner be sure to never bathe, dress obnoxiously, show off frequently, and spend money indiscriminately, and it is scientifically proven that the ideal mate will be found in time.
1. Charlton, Benjamin D. “Menstrual Cycle Phase Alters Women's Sexual Preferences for Composers of More Complex Music.” Proceedings of the Royal Society of London B: Biological Sciences, The Royal Society, 7 June 2014, rspb.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/281/1784/20140403.
2.“Definition of Pheromone.” MedicineNet, www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=12896.
3.Donahue, Rosemary. “THIS Is the Age Your Facebook Feed Will Suddenly Be Full of Baby Pics.” Allure, Allure Magazine, 19 May 2017, www.allure.com/story/average-age-first-time-united-states-mothers.
4.Harris, Isiah D, et al. Reviews in Urology, MedReviews, LLC, 2011, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3253726/.
5.Holmes, Lindsay. “Study Says You Feel More Attractive When You Wear This Color.” The Huffington Post, TheHuffingtonPost.com, 3 July 2017, www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/you-feel-more-attractive-when-you-wear-this-color_us_59565e57e4b0da2c73230101.
6.Viralforest. “These Birds Seduce Females Using Interior Decoration.” Viral Forest, 13 Jan. 2015, www.viralforest.com/bower-bird/.
7.“Why Having Kids Later Is a Really Big Deal.” Business Insider, Business Insider, 30 June 2015, www.businessinsider.com/why-delaying-parenthood-and-having-kids-later-is-a-big-deal-2015-6.