Do we have the right chemistry?
So I met a boy on tinder and we've been talking for 2 weeks and he just asked for my sc 2 days ago and he hasn't asked to hang out yet... What's up?
Well, there’s a couple potential reasons for that. He could be trying to get to know you better before the first date to find out if you click, although two weeks does seem to be an unusually long time. That way, he won’t have to (potentially) waste two hours on a date with someone he doesn’t enjoy being with. However, the more likely reason is that he’s just too shy to actually ask you out. While this might seem odd because he asked for your Snapchat, you’d be surprised how nerve-wracking it can be to actually ask someone out. Swiping right is easy; making a real move isn’t.
My suggestion is to just ask him out yourself. If you’re actually concerned enough about it to ask for advice in this column (heh), you should just do it now before the chemistry you have fizzles out. Plus, there’s nothing more attractive than a woman who doesn’t mind taking the initiative.
I'm really concerned that I'm too clingy with my boyfriend and our relationship is starting to be strained. I love him very much, but every time I guess this feeling of clinginess I start losing hope for our relationship. Please expand on what I can do!
Let me first off start by elaborating on what clinginess is. Clinginess comes about when you don’t have enough passion for other things in your life, so you expect your significant other to pick up the slack and satisfy you more. The problem with that is when you devote so much of yourself towards that other person, you stop being yourself and start living more for them. They slowly begin to take up even more of your life until you can’t find happiness at all until you’re with them. And of course, if the relationship ends, you’ll be left with less than what you started with.
The phrase “get a hobby” might sound tactless and blunt, but holds a vast amount of truth. If you can find something you really enjoy doing, something that can truly satisfy you, then you won’t need to always have your boyfriend on your mind because you’ll have so many other things important to you in life. What you choose to fill yourself with can be anything, like working out, joining some new orgs, learning a new skill, etc. Clinginess means that you need a certain response from a given person in order to feel validated, but if you find fulfilling activities that have nothing to do with your boyfriend, you can feel completely satisfied and confident in yourself without anyone else. Now, that’s not to say that you shouldn’t feel attached and drawn closer to your boyfriend at all, but I think you’ll feel better in more ways than one if you can realize that you have your own innate value that isn’t dependent on anyone else.
My girlfriend has a cat that she loves very much, but I'm incredibly allergic to the point where it's hard for me to spend time in her apartment. How can we compromise?
Well I’ll preface this by saying that this probably isn’t the answer you were expecting, but given that I’m a Biology major, I’ll offer you the solution that makes the most sense to me.
Studies have shown that long term mild exposure to certain allergens can lead to your allergic reactions decreasing and eventually completely being nullified. In your case, that would mean slowly exposing yourself more and more over time to the cat in order for your body to slowly acclimate to it. Your “exposure” can range from anything between touching fallen strands of hair to actually touching the cat. Depending on how much you allow yourself to experience each time, it should take anywhere from 1-4 months to reach the point at which you can be in the same room as apartment as the cat without issue. Of course, this process will definitely suck, so it’s up to you to decide if it’s worth it. Personally, I don’t think your girlfriend will be the first or last person to own a cat, so it’s a worthwhile investment.
Of course, you could always do what normal people would do and just not hang out in her apartment, but that’s not really feasible if the relationship continues on for a number of years. I suppose if the cat “mysteriously disappeared” one day it would solve your issue, but I don’t recommend it and you definitely didn’t hear this idea from me.