Seven Steps to the Perfect Earth Day
EVA FREDERICK 1. Paint the word “carbon” on the bottom of your friends’ shoes when they are not looking, and then tell them to stand up. The word will be stamped onto the floor. Then tell them they should think about reducing their carbon footprint and run away.
2. If you are dating a trashboy, break up with him—today is about recyclingboys.
3. Make as many silly birthday/earth day jokes as you can. Bake an earth day cake if possible.
4. Start a band similar to the Blue Man Group but call it the Green Man Group
5. Plant plants in your garden. Plant plants in your neighbor’s garden. Plant plants in the urinals in the men’s restroom on the fourth floor of the physics building.
6. Dress up as the earth
7. Don’t fart in greenhouses—avoid greenhouse gas.