The 10 Types of People You Will See at Austin City Limits
1. Ginormous Flower Crown Girls
Don’t get me wrong; I think flower crowns are pretty awesome. However, when the flower crown prohibits me from being able to watch the performance, I’m really tempted to just grab it off of someone’s head and smash it beneath my clunky rain boots (which I almost did during Phantogram’s set). Seriously, gals. If you want to wear your giant flower crowns, stand in the back.
2. That Dude with the Huge Backpack
ACL gives restrictions on backpack size, but there is always one guy who manages to snub that rule and bring in a massive framed backpack the size of my upper body. Of course, I got to stand behind that guy while watching Sam Smith. So thanks, Dude with the Huge Backpack, for impairing my vision and squishing me into oblivion.
3. The Prepubescent Children Who Think They’re Too Cool for School
I was surprised by the amount of high school and middle school kids that attended thefestival. Props to parents for letting their kids listen to music instead of playing video games all day. But my goodness, the mouth on some of these children. I lost count on how many F-bombs were thrown around and the shrill screaming was enough to drive me mad.
4. Parents Who Bring Babies
I just don’t get this. Why bring your baby, who has sensitive hearing, to a music festival with what seems like a million speakers? ACL is probably a time where you should just invest in a babysitter.
5. The “I Just Want to Hear Their Most Famous Song” Person
I don’t know about you guys, but I go to music festivals and concerts to listen to and watch an artist’s performance. If I just wanted to hear the most popular song by the artist, I would have stayed at home and blasted it on Spotify. I kid you not, I heard somebody say “When are they going to play their most famous song?” about twenty times alone during Iggy Azalea’s set.
6. The Magnetic Lovers
Ah, young love. It’s cute until I see tonsil hockey action going on. Why pay 200 bucks to make out with your significant other when you could do it anywhere else? There were two high school kids next to me during The Glitch Mob’s set who surfaced for air maybe twice during their 30 minutes of snogging. I was, however, impressed with their ability to hold their breaths for so long.
7. The Social Media Addict
I totally get taking a couple of photos here and there during an artist’s performance and sharing them on the Internet, but when somebody with an iPhone or an iPad plants themselves firmly in front of me and proceeds to record most of the set, text, Tweet, Snapchat, and post photos on Instagram instead of actually watching the set…just no. So I can’t really say I watched CHVRCHES play live because I saw their entire performance through an iPad screen.
8. The Kid Who Has CamelBak Flailing Syndrome
Camelbaks seem like a great idea, especially during hot days, but there is one little problem with them: the straw tends to thrash around whenever you’re dancing. I was walking past Major Lazer's performance and a bouncing, overly excited guy thwacked me in the face with his CamelBak straw. It left a mark.
9. The Overt Fashionistas (and Fashionistos)
When it’s hot, muddy, and there’s various alcoholic substances flying around, the last thing I would want to wear is a nice dress and shoes. I understand wanting to look nice, but a music festival is probably not the best place to wear your $300 Armani loafers, as one guy who stepped in a mud puddle learned.
10. The Middle-Aged Guy Who Still Thinks He is 20 Years Old
There are many older folks who attend ACL, which makes complete sense as the big headliners tend to be older, more established acts. However, there are some middle-aged folk, such as the man in front of me with the giant cowboy hat during Lorde, who prance about as if they were twenty years younger. These men are all well and good until it’s interfering with my ability to watch the show.
Despite all these interesting folks I had the fortune (or misfortune), I did have a wonderful time at ACL and I urge everyone to go at least once during their college career. Just try not to be one of these people in the list, otherwise you may aggravate someone.