The Types of People in Your Lecture Class

By Jacob Anderson

You know these people well, for they have been present in your life from the moment you set foot in your first college lecture. Their chronic behavior can be frustrating or endearing, but you are usually indifferent as you struggle to make worth of the dollars you are dishing out for this class. Regardless, they do exist, and you probably recognize them reincarnated from one semester to the next.
The Incessant Leg-Shaker
This person suffers from some sort of neurosis that does not allow them to sit still for one moment. Their constant leg motion usually sends a sort of seismic tremor through the row of desks they are on, causing pencils and eyes to go rolling. Often, they are also tapping their fingers, clicking their pen, or tapping their foot. Sometimes, a fed-up up classmate will finally speak the words everyone has been thinking, and tell them to stop. However, the Leg-Shaker is not so easily deterred, and is likely to resume their behavior within the next 15 minutes, to everyone’s discontent.
The Question Guy
Though asking questions certainly isn’t a bad thing, this person is characteristic by their ability to make the class collectively sigh as they distract the professor from the lecture for the umpteenth time. Frustratingly, most of the questions seem to be efforts by the person to interact with the professor, and rarely have much value. The questions are either horribly tangential or already stated, and you wonder whether this person actually listens, or just waits for an opportunity to make everyone hear their voice. Sometimes you and friends will start tallying up how many questions this person asks per week, and make wagers.

The Person Who Manages To Be Late To Every Single Lecture
The main mystery surrounding this person is the reason why they come to lecture at all. They never seem to be on time, and not by just a few minutes, but often halfway through the lecture. You are unsure whether to applaud this person for still making it to lecture, or be astounded by their audacity as they brush by the professor mid-lecture. Often to everyone’s confusion, this person seems to deem their entrance too late to pick up on the lecture, and so they will pull out their laptop to check their social media or e-mail. Somehow, they still manage to attend every class – if only for a moment
The Poor Eternally Anxious Soul
Just being near this person often makes you feel like your blood pressure is rising. They frantically run into class, sit in their usual seat, take out their notes and nervously await for the professor. Their notes are usually immaculate, and they seem to write down everything the professor says, draws, writes, or has on their PowerPoint without missing a beat. You suspect they have a 4.0 and either want to get into medical school or have very scary parents. Sometimes this person is also the Incessant Leg-Shaker. Once class is over, they virtually sprint away to their next preoccupation, but you breathe a little easier as the air of anxiety exits the room.
The Buzzfeed Chick
Fully equipped with yoga pants, an oversized sorority shirt and Starbucks, this girl only seems vaguely interested in what the professor is saying. Though she is taking notes on her MacBook, she is tabbing very often between the notes and sites such as Buzzfeed and Pinterest. Sometimes this girl annoys you since the GIFs easily catch your eye and distract you from the task at hand. The male version of the Buzzfeed chick, the Totalfratmove bro, browses Totalfratmove or Reddit and is easily spotted by his short khaki shorts, a frocketed long-sleeve shirt, and Sperrys.

The Social Media Addict
This person often exists as either gender, but are constantly browsing either Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. To your amusement, this person often will decide to pay attention and stop using the social media on their phone, and switch to their laptop to take notes; unfortunately, they somehow end up on the same sites on their computer within minutes. Sometimes you inadvertently end up in their Snapchats, but you aren’t too worried (unless the other person screenshots it, of course).
You’re just trying to get your degree and make a good grade in this class, but your peers are so interesting and distracting. You are wondering whether you should have just stayed home and watched Netflix; you are already in your sweatpants, anyways. You can always catch up, right?

…but, no. You’ll still end up every other day with these lovable goons, as you all anxiously pray for weekend.

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